


Words Are Not Enough

by moonybug



Series: linked verkwan one-shots [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Confession, Confessional, Confessions, Crushing, Cute, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friendship/Love, Gay, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Major crush, One Shot, Romance, Romantic Fluff, SO FLUFFY, Seventeen - Freeform, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Young Love, bareface boo, can they get married already, confess, cute ass couple, gorgeous boo, kpop, pledisboys, saythename, seungkwan is confident, skinny love, soft, vernon confesses, vernon is nervous, vernon is whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonybug/pseuds/moonybug
Summary: There had always been a line that Vernon knew not to cross, but he always did like to test the waters.In which Vernon decides its better to chase his dreams than to wait for them.Inspired by a message written by Vernon at a fanmeet in Japan 2018.





	Words Are Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I know I’m meant to be writing Serendiptiy but this idea came to me at like 1am and verkwan is my otp so how could i resist
> 
> Plus it’s short and took less that 24 hours to complete~ I’ve never felt so inspired wow they’re so cute

Vernon and Seungkwan had always been close, but he knew a day would come where it would no longer be enough.

The stares that lasted longer than they should were ingrained in his memory and the lingering touches burnt his skin at contact. It was not as if it was all new to him; after all, he and Seungkwan had been practically inseparable since day one. Their similarity in age and the latter’s aura that seemed to draw him in like a magnet meant that they clicked immediately, and Vernon would have had it no other way.

Seungkwan was not without insecurities, often found crying alone in his room on a particularly bad day, turning up to meals with puffy eyes that made Vernon’s chest feel hollow. But he had always been a crybaby, and not everyone noticed the emptiness of his eyes when he thought no one could see.

Of course, Vernon did.

He noticed everything; whether it was the three moles that arched around the beginning of his ear like a constellation or the ever so slightly uneven size of his eyes, Vernon had learnt to pay attention to the little things. He could tell when he was tired and when he was unhappy, but he could also tell when his day was going particularly well, or when he was inspired. His body language meant he was an open book, but not everyone could understand it, and Vernon prided himself on being able to read each and every cue that Seungkwan sent him.

There were days when he himself was feeling down, and on those days, occasionally he said or did something he knew he’d regret soon enough, often the moment Seungkwan’s face fell slightly, but he couldn’t help himself.

He wanted nothing more than to help, but sometimes he was the one who needed it more.

Ever since he was small, even though he had spent several years living in America, he had always felt more connected to his father’s culture. In Korea, he’d made so many memories and learned so many things, yet people still connected him with the people overseas who all felt like strangers to him now.

He had never quite fit in with any sort of crowd. Becoming a trainee had been one of the most nerve-wracking experiences in his life. But the other members, especially Seungkwan, had never been invasive with their questions, and only Joshua tried talking with him in English since he was fluent anyway, and Vernon didn’t mind.

But sometimes, he’d experience an encounter where his appearance was commented on too much, how he was told he looked ‘exotic’ and how he was as handsome as a foreigner.

At the time, he’d laugh it off, but it was easy to notice his discomfort.

On those days, Seungkwan would stick by his side, even if he was hurt and even if Vernon told him to leave. When he was like this, he knew it affected the older boy too, no matter how much he pretended that the words did not hurt and that he didn’t mind.

Vernon owed him so much, and one day he realised that the line that was carefully drawn between each and every person had begun to blur where he and Seungkwan’s lines met. It was as if they had begun to blend together, and it was becoming more and more difficult to tell when he had begun to step over it into uncharted territory.

In his heart, he knew what he had to do, but actually putting those thoughts into action was something else entirely, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to muster up the courage to do so.

His mind would wander to times when he had been hurt or ill, especially around a year ago during filming, when Seungkwan had waited outside nearly all night until he returned, and his heart ached more than his broken leg.

It was probably pure conjecture, but some days Vernon managed to make himself believe he had a chance. Sometimes he’d look up and catch Seungkwan staring right back. At the time he’d laugh it off, but when he was finally alone in his room, his cheeks would burn scarlet and his head would fall into his hands in a futile attempt to calm his racing heart.

Sometimes their hands would meet, and his skin would be set alight, as if he had trapped it in a furnace, his skin succumbing to the scorching heat.

It had never affected him like this before, but he couldn’t quite pin the moment things had begun to change either.

Maybe the feeling had been there since the very beginning, hidden in the dark recesses of his mind, only gradually revealing itself. He grew up, and so did the feelings he now harboured.

_I like you._

Only three words, but why were they so difficult to say in person?

Of course, he believed it was more than a mere crush, but he didn’t want to scare the other boy away, nor did he want to get ahead of himself. He was young and had endless opportunities, so he wanted to take his time and test the waters before he dived right in, even though his patience was beginning to wear thin.

Vernon turned his head, eyes glazed over as he focused on the horizon outside his window. The sun had begun to dip below the skyscrapers in the distance, casting a vermillion glow across the city.

It was beautiful.

Time spent alone could be particularly dangerous with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company, and since he had been confined to the hotel for the entirety of the day, he had nothing but time alone.

However, he was the one that chose it to be that way today. He needed time to think before he did something brash (not that he wouldn’t do so anyway, but it felt as if he’d thought it through more if he did think things through, no matter how stupid these ideas were).

Currently in Japan, the members had decided to go sightseeing for a few hours since it was one of those rare times where they had nothing important planned. The next day, they had a fan meet and a concert to prepare for, so naturally everyone wanted to take in the scenery as much as they could before they got busy again.

Vernon, although he shared the sentiment, knew he’d have more chances. Maybe things would be different next time and maybe he’d be able to make some special memories here, but for now he had only one thing on his mind, and that was how to make his dream a reality.

He heard several engines roll into the parking lot below and his heart skipped a beat when he heard a familiar voice ring clearly from below, and it continued to do so when he heard laughter spill from those damn gorgeous lips for reasons that he couldn’t quite make out from up high.

Seokmin’s voice came next, along with Soonyoung’s, and Vernon laughed quietly at the racket they were making. It was typical of them, and he could hear an angry hiss from another member - most likely Seungcheol or Jihoon - before it got significantly quieter and another member snickered at what was probably an attempt from the three of them to look guilty, which meant they certainly weren’t convincing anyone.

He heard them all enter the building, followed by a groan coming from next door.

He hadn’t been alone since Wonwoo also decided to stay back, preferring the quiet of indoors rather than the bustle that Osaka provided. He said he’d be reading but, from what Vernon could hear, he had clearly fallen asleep at some point and had only just be awakened from his slumber.

Mingyu would probably get the full brunt of Wonwoo’s frustration, but he probably wouldn’t care anyway. After all, despite Wonwoo’s complaints about him, he cared about Mingyu a lot more than he let on.

As if on cue, he heard someone bounding up the steps before the door to Wonwoo’s room slammed open, followed by two loud voices, one significantly more cheerful than the other.

It wasn’t long until the other members began to file in, each of their separate doors being unlocked and opened as the volume of their chatter increased gradually as they did so, and Vernon felt his breath quicken slightly.

Seungkwan, Soonyoung and Seokmin all entered, talking in fast hushed whispers, giggling to themselves as if they were children. When they caught sight of Vernon, they fell silent before grinning, the two taller members jumping forward into a crushing hug that sandwiched him between their bodies as they slowly suffocated him.

“Vernonie~ are you feeling better?” Soonyoung cooed, pressing his cheek to the younger boy’s as he laughed.

“Get off me hyung, you’re smothering me.”

The pair slowly pulled away, Seokmin laughing loudly before ruffling his hair. “You don’t look much better though, you’re kinda pale still.”

Vernon frowned, pushing his hand away from his hair that had already been a wreck, even before the taller boy had decided to mess it up even more. “Well maybe you shouldn’t _cut off my air supply._ ”

Hoshi suddenly cut in, eyes wide. “Wait! Seokmin-ah, I forgot the snacks!”

“Are you _serious_?” Seokmin sighed dramatically, dropping onto the bed. “I think I’m gonna die of starvation, go on without me-”

Hoshi Soonyoung, tugging at his arm. “Come with me and you get first dibs.”

At that, Seokmin’s face lit up, his head lifting off the bed slightly. “ _Really_?”

Soonyoung only had to nod before the other boy leapt up.

“Ok, you two should wait for us. We can bring them up.”

With those words, the two of them flew out of the room as fast as they had appeared, Soonyoung saying something about the staff coming after their asses if they found out, to which Seokmin just laughed.

Hopefully they didn’t fall down the stairs, a broken leg would be inconvenient just before their last performance.

Seungkwan had been relatively quiet, which was a little unusual, but then he burst into a fit of giggles and before Vernon could stop himself, he joined right in. Seungkwan’s laughter had always been contagious, his cheeks pushed out like a hamster’s and Vernon wanted nothing more than to touch them. One time he had, and Seungkwan hadn’t been very amused, but the pair had burst out laughing when he pushed them in, Seungkwan’s lips becoming deformed so that the moment he spoke, neither one could control themselves.

They ended up on the bed, eyes wet with tears before they finally managed to calm down. Vernon could swear he heard Wonwoo groan at them through the walls, but he couldn’t be sure.

As a comfortable silence filled the air, both of them a little out of breath, Vernon finally pushed the first words he could think of through his lips, his mouth acting of its own accord.

“Seungkwan, do you want to go to the river?”

“Didn’t you stay indoors because you felt ill?”

“I’m feeling better now.” Although he insisted, that was a blatant lie; he felt slightly sick to his stomach, but he wasn’t going to tell Seungkwan or he’d definitely throw a fit and refuse to let him go outdoors.

Not that it was that type of illness anyway.

“Besides, I probably won’t get another chance for a while, since we’re going to be busy right up until we leave.”

After several moments of hesitation, Vernon caught sight of Seungkwan nodding out of the corner of his eye, and the pair of them rose clumsily into a sitting position. Vernon’s stomach ached from laughter and something akin to anticipation.

He couldn’t put this off any longer.

Any lingering fears had evaporated along with his laughter and as Seungkwan lifted himself from the bed, Vernon knew that even though this might be a mistake, he would never live to see the day he’d regret this decision.

Seungwan had gone to refresh his makeup, but instead Vernon had told him to just wash it off instead since they hopefully wouldn’t stay out for too long, and keeping it on wasn’t too good for his skin. The older boy’s skin had been breaking out slightly more recently, most likely due to their constant performances, and had started getting more self-conscious because of it.

In Vernon’s opinion, he was beautiful, regardless of what Seungkwan himself thought.

After letting Seungcheol know where they were off to and being threatened with death if they didn’t return soon, the pair of them managed to sneak out the back of their hotel undiscovered, or the staff chose to ignore them.

Either way, Vernon silently thanked them since it would all be over if someone accompanied them.

The walk to the river wasn’t long, and the two of them took their sweet time, Vernon taking in the scenery properly for the first time since they had arrived. He ever so slightly regretted not joining the other members that day, but he didn’t linger too much on the thought.

Seungkwan was here, and that’s what mattered.

When they arrived, Vernon’s breath hitched in his throat. During the day, it would have been crowded, street vendors with their shops set up, attempting to sell their wares to passerbys. It would have been lively, and a little too loud for Vernon’s liking, but at night it was-

“Beautiful…”

Vernon almost missed it, but he just caught it; Seungkwan’s voice, barely above a whisper, mirrored his thoughts perfectly.

An endless line of street lamps glowed orange, reflecting off the water as if it had been set alight, but it felt more like a campfire you would gather around to share fond memories rather than a wildfire that threatened to destroy everything in its path.

On the other side, the pair of them could see faint lights from several windows in the distance, small constellations of hidden gems throughout the city that, unless you were really looking, you could easily miss in the hustle and bustle of the city life. Their shadows flickered as a lamp crackled with energy up above, and then Seungkwan turned around.

His skin was glowing, and his eyes were aflame with the glow of the lights all around them as he looked up at Vernon. He looked ethereal, flaws and all, and Vernon’s fingers twitched, wishing he had the courage to reach out and-

“Yeah.” The word spilt out before he could think, and his cheeks warmed after his thoughts hit him and he quickly glanced away, shoving his hands in his pockets.

He really wished he’d dressed a little warmly since even his trusty hoodie wasn’t keeping his temperature up. He shivered slightly, lifting his eyes to meet Seungkwan’s once more and Vernon’s breath hitched again.

“Vernon, what’s the real reason we came out here?” There was a small smile tugging on the edge of Seungkwan’s lips. “Although it is beautiful, I know it’s not just for the scenery.”

The two of them were close, and though Vernon prided himself on being able to read Seungkwan, he should have known better than to assume that the other boy couldn’t.

“You love me right?”

Seungkwan’s eyebrows furrowed, quiet laughter falling from his lips. “Of course, what kind of question is that?”

“But, do you-”

Vernon cut himself off. His confidence from before was leaving his body with every moment that passed. It didn’t help that Seungkwan was looking better than ever in this lighting, maybe if-

“Vernon, you know you can tell me anything right?”

Vernon froze, looking down at his hands that were being held gently by the brunette’s. Despite their difference in size, they fit well, and Vernon’s heart began to race.

“Um, well- I, uh-” His head fell and his voice rose, becoming rapid as his nerves got out of control.

“ _I kind of like you a lot like more than friends but I didn’t want to say anything because you obviously don’t and I’m trying to fool myself into thinking you do because_ \- because I-” He began to stutter, messy words tumbling out that slowly became more and more incoherent as he continued. His face must have been bright red at this point, but he didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

“Because of what?”

His head shot up, eyes meeting with Seungkwan’s, an amused smile on his face that made Vernon feel downright stupid for even speaking. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything-”

“Because of _what_ , Vernon?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, jaw tense. “Because I-” A shaky sigh left him and he succumbed to the thoughts that had been racing through his mind for months.

“Because I can’t hide it anymore, but I also don’t want to lose you.”

Silence passed, the air heavy with the unspoken words that threatened to fall from Vernon’s tongue, but he swallowed them down and let out another nervous laugh. “Wow, that sounded cheesy-”

And then Seungkwan leaned forward, the lips Vernon had imagined connecting with his own finally meeting in the dim glow, the night veiling their affections from unwanted eyes.

They tasted of uncertainty yet it was also something sweeter than anything he had ever known. When the other boy’s eyes fluttered closed, he mirrored his actions, head tilting slightly as his mind went blank. It was better than all his fantasies, and something he could already feel himself wanting more.

He knew his actions were irreversible, but what was life without a challenge?

When they separated, Vernon had never felt quite so alive, eyes wide and his heart beating faster than ever before. Their hands were still linked and he felt Seungkwan’s slim fingers slip into his own.

“I was wondering what took you so long to say anything.” Seungkwan looked even better than before if that was even possible, and Vernon decided that no amount of makeup could ever top his raw beauty.

“I thought-” This time, Vernon was caught by a peck on his lips that caught him completely off guard.

“Well you clearly thought _wrong_.” Seungkwan’s grin widened. “I thought you could tell, considering how often I stare at your goddamn lips. And don’t think I missed you glancing at my ass during our last concert.”

Vernon spluttered, speechless, before Seungkwan pecked him again, quite literally making him jump this time. “Can you stop that, you’re giving me a heart attack.”

“You love me really~” Seungkwan teased him, touching their noses together as his eyelids dropped again.

“Yeah,” Vernon’s voice went quiet, a silent promise behind his words. “I do.”

The next day, as a fan sent him a smile as she settled down and he read her question, a smile settled on his lips and his cheeks warmed ever so slightly.

_How much do you love Seungkwan?_

The two of them conversed for a while until they linked hands and she moved onto the next member.

_How much do you love Seungkwan?_

_~ Words are not enough to describe my answer._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking your time to read this fic, it really means the world to me~ I enjoyed writing this so much none of y’all understand how much I love these two boys
> 
> Until now I’ve only ever written BTS fics, but be prepared because I have more Seventeen (and BTS) on the way~
> 
> (I’d also appreciate it if you read my other fics wink wonk)


End file.
